My hope is built on nothing less.
I was able to name my emotion today- pin that elusive, crazy guy, look him straight in the eye, and feel liberation because I had finally identified him- defeated. He couldn't lurk around in the shadows of my mind anymore. He was brought to light. Defeated.
I racked my brain for creative ways to motivate one particular student today- came to school armed with some new ideas. I prayed for angels to surround him on his way to school- for peace, protection, wholeness. The morning seemed successful, but after lunch it went spinning downward fast. I was losing it. I was filled with frustration. I was so disheartened and discouraged. It breaks my heart to see kids progress and regress with so little warning especially when so much of it seems out of my control.
It's also a tough time to evaluate the school year. December hits and I realize we're about halfway through the year and of course, like every year, I'm no where near the point I thought I'd be. Well, that's not totally true, but I see how much more I would have liked to have accomplished, bought, made, or set up by now.
At home, I greeted Aaron when he arrived who also had a tough day. On his birthday no less. Twenty five years ago he was born into this big ol' world and somehow God allowed him to be my husband even though I don't deserve him at all. And there we sat at the dinner table trying to find positive things about our day when I realized my emotion- defeated. That realization was paradoxically weighty and liberating.
Hebrews 2:14-18 hung on a golden little piece of paper above our sink staring at me while I washed the dishes. "... he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death." Yes of course. There God spoke to me again and held me close.
Jesus knows what it's like to feel defeated. He hung on the cross under the weight of all our sin and cried out to his Father, "Why have you forsaken me?" His disciples probably looked upon him when he gave up his last breath and felt totally defeated. Here is the supposed Savior of the world and he just died. Where is victory? Where is the big win? They must have hung there heads and returned home to tell their family that it was the end. Their hope had been crushed.
But in fact their Hope was resurrected. Their Hope was alive. Their Hope was victorious.
I will not be fooled. Though certain days may seem defeating, my hope is not in the things of this world, but in the heavenly world to come. Hope is our anchor. Jesus, Emmanuel is our anchor keeping us firm and secure in the storms of this life until we see him face to face. Our Savior is bringing heaven to earth every day. Hope coming down to earth. He answers prays, heals our diseases, and still performs miracles.
I will light the HOPE candle on our advent wreath this week and cling to the anchor of Hope. Jesus has not been defeated, but instead he has defeated death. Hallelujah!
_ _ _ _
And on a totally different note: Happy Birthday Aaron! I celebrate the births of my 2 favorite people this month- Jesus and my sweet husband. Ha. What a great parallel. Christ and the church, husband and wife. That whole beautiful analogy. I love it. Anyhow, I am so thankful for you. You are so hard working, loyal, devoted, preserving, goofy, and loving. I am constantly challenged and encouraged by you. Thank you for being there on my good and bad days and for loving me so deeply through it all. I am so incredibly blessed!
I racked my brain for creative ways to motivate one particular student today- came to school armed with some new ideas. I prayed for angels to surround him on his way to school- for peace, protection, wholeness. The morning seemed successful, but after lunch it went spinning downward fast. I was losing it. I was filled with frustration. I was so disheartened and discouraged. It breaks my heart to see kids progress and regress with so little warning especially when so much of it seems out of my control.
It's also a tough time to evaluate the school year. December hits and I realize we're about halfway through the year and of course, like every year, I'm no where near the point I thought I'd be. Well, that's not totally true, but I see how much more I would have liked to have accomplished, bought, made, or set up by now.
At home, I greeted Aaron when he arrived who also had a tough day. On his birthday no less. Twenty five years ago he was born into this big ol' world and somehow God allowed him to be my husband even though I don't deserve him at all. And there we sat at the dinner table trying to find positive things about our day when I realized my emotion- defeated. That realization was paradoxically weighty and liberating.
Hebrews 2:14-18 hung on a golden little piece of paper above our sink staring at me while I washed the dishes. "... he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death." Yes of course. There God spoke to me again and held me close.
Jesus knows what it's like to feel defeated. He hung on the cross under the weight of all our sin and cried out to his Father, "Why have you forsaken me?" His disciples probably looked upon him when he gave up his last breath and felt totally defeated. Here is the supposed Savior of the world and he just died. Where is victory? Where is the big win? They must have hung there heads and returned home to tell their family that it was the end. Their hope had been crushed.
But in fact their Hope was resurrected. Their Hope was alive. Their Hope was victorious.
I will not be fooled. Though certain days may seem defeating, my hope is not in the things of this world, but in the heavenly world to come. Hope is our anchor. Jesus, Emmanuel is our anchor keeping us firm and secure in the storms of this life until we see him face to face. Our Savior is bringing heaven to earth every day. Hope coming down to earth. He answers prays, heals our diseases, and still performs miracles.
I will light the HOPE candle on our advent wreath this week and cling to the anchor of Hope. Jesus has not been defeated, but instead he has defeated death. Hallelujah!
_ _ _ _
And on a totally different note: Happy Birthday Aaron! I celebrate the births of my 2 favorite people this month- Jesus and my sweet husband. Ha. What a great parallel. Christ and the church, husband and wife. That whole beautiful analogy. I love it. Anyhow, I am so thankful for you. You are so hard working, loyal, devoted, preserving, goofy, and loving. I am constantly challenged and encouraged by you. Thank you for being there on my good and bad days and for loving me so deeply through it all. I am so incredibly blessed!
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