Lilley of the field

That night I hardly slept. I tossed and turned and dozed and dreamt. Most of my dreams consisted of being late or forgetting something. I had the same kind of jitters I have before the very first day of school every year. Only this time- it was before my very first triathlon. I had prepared as much as possible. I printed the course maps and drove them in advance. I bought some needed tri gear. I watched youtube videos galore about transitions and swimming techniques. I made this fancy training plan with pretty fonts and didn't stick to it a single day. But six out of seven days of the week this summer, you would find me running, biking, or swimming- simply not on the day it was scheduled though. There's something humorous about this that would make you tilt your head in a "huh... really?" kind of way if you've known me for over ten years. After posting the I-crossed-the-finish-line pictures on social media, one of my dear high school friends captured it w...

Do you ever want to really explain something so significant in your life, but you come up short with words? Are there really words to describe the greatest joys and deepest sorrows of life? In Brennan Manning's book,  The Ragamuffin Gospel  (which I can't recommend enough), he writes that trying to comprehend God's love is like trying to contain Niagara Falls in a tea cup. I feel overwhelmed by the sheer love and mercy of the Lord looking at these pictures my good friend Mary Ashley took of my feet. My little tea cup has shattered because His grace just can't be contained. So in feeble words- I will at least tell my story in hopes that you will hear His story of love and mercy which is intended to be the theme of all our stories.   - - - -  Five years ago, during my first year teaching, I started coming home from school with terrible pain in my feet. I developed plantar fasciitis. Your plantar fascia is a band of connective tissue that runs along the sol...

So I wrote this two weeks ago, but it didn't publish on my other computer and I thought it had. I wanted to post it though because it is an interesting follow up to my excited post about swimming.... Real life man. ------- Sometimes it feels like for every step forward you take, you take two steps back. I had high dreams and hopes last week. My feet were feeling better and I could picture myself swimming- confident and maybe not great- but decent?! I spent way to much time watching pros swim on youtube who make it look easy. So Tuesday rolls around and my friend Dana comes to the pool with me to teach me how better techniques and I am surprised. Surprised at how hard it is. It does not come naturally at all to me. The breathing part. Then I psych myself all out in my mind because other people are around and I have to stop at the end of every lap and catch my breath. She taught me how to do the flip turn, but I can't even do two laps back to back right now... so flip tur...

At church this morning, I was struggling to focus while standing and singing because my feet felt like they were on fire. I am a teacher. I stand on hard floors all day. I have plantars facilitis. I've prayed for it to be healed, have had other people pray, bought dr. schol's inserts, and expensive clogs. And they still hurt. It was worse this weekend for some reason and I have been fighting discouragement and fear of long term ramifications of it. Why God? Why do they still hurt? I am doing Your work. I know I am where you have called me. We were singing a song called "God is Able". The song begins, "God is able. He will never fail. He is Almighty God." I stopped to think about God being able. I've been thinking through God's authority and power here on earth and why sometimes we can pray for healing and it happens and why sometimes we pray and it doesn't. I've looked at Jesus healing everytime someone asked Him and realized- yes, God inde...