Lilley of the field

So I've had this inner dilemma for a while now about this blog. I love to write, but I just have so much trouble now feeling freedom to write anything here. It's not because that many people read it necessarily, it's just that people can and do once in a while and well.... I'm just conscious of that. I once would post my blogs on Facebook, but some of my world's are colliding too much there for me to want to post things so personal and vulnerable. I have a blog to write stories and to be vulnerable and to encourage others and I don't want to stray from that. So I've thought about if I should keep this space, just write like every 2 months like I am doing or turn the focus to something more specific. But everything I think about something different, it just doesn't make my heart sing. For instance: A Teaching Blog- Sure I could post pictures of my classroom and cute things we're doing, but I don't really want to do that and there are plen

I remember talking with her back when we were in high school as she thought about who would walk her down the isle- whenever that day came. Which of course seemed so far away at the time. But it came. Those church doors opened and every eye turned to see her radiant face and delicate lace white dress as her dad's brother walked her down the isle. The vows were taken, rings exchanges, and kisses given. And then there was a grand celebration. As she slowly spun around on the dance floor under the twinkling lights with several father-figures in her life in lieu of the traditional father- daughter dance, I could only think about how faithful God is. About how He can take anything and make good. About how beautiful it is to see friends that come to follow Jesus and then to see how their journey unfolds over the years. About friends who saw me come to follow Jesus. I stood off to the side with my husband surrounded by long time friends from high school and thought about each of t

I'm holding that book with those thin gold outlined pages in the dead of night reading out loud because I've woken up wide awake and full of fear. I hate that. I hate that I stub my toe on the same rock over and over- fear. But I read the words aloud until my heart calms down. I settle myself back into bed with the music on my iPad playing through the headphones and into my ears and mind. Because sometimes, you gotta sing your way into the truth . I hear Him say, Y ou're safe. You ran to me and you are hidden in my strong tower .  Filled with peace,  good tears leak out of my eyes and into my hair as I lay on my back in bed. Rising the next day, I go and place my feet on holy, prayer-filled ground . It doesn't take but three minutes of sitting there and I realize. My words come out fast on paper, my prayers of repentance. Because only in seeing how we can't do it alone although we try so hard, can we believe we need a Savior. After reading seven prayers ov