Lilley of the field

I didn't think I needed Jesus today. On Easter of all days. I woke up with the bright sun shining, life bursting with possibilities and new joys. Of course, I didn't say those words out loud, but I acted that way because something unthinkable happened on Easter. I actually sinned. I said and thought selfish thing before we actually even arrived at church. Somehow I was frustrated by that. I thought, I am a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. Today is a different day. It's Easter. I am supposed to be holier today- more selfless from this day forward. Only there sin came breaking in again. My earthly nature creeping through those cracks in this little jar of clay. This morning as I sat in church and sang songs of praise with my brothers and sister, I contemplated the rugged cross that hung before us and before the communion bread and juice. Believing in Jesus isn't the end. It's really the beginning. Easter is not the end- it's the beginn...

Remember how you jumped out of the car at 7:30 on a Friday night ready to hike into the woods and set up a tent for the night. Remember how 8:00 rolled around and then rolled by and you still hadn't found a flat spot to lay your weary head. Aaron trudged on way ahead of you forging the way. Then the sun started starting sinking, sinking so low and slow all you could do was hope there was a flat spot soon. Remember how you didn't think you'd make it up that mountain so you recited Bible verses until you couldn't remember any more. Then you sang songs. Remember how you got worried that maybe you should have taken the trail down to the river with more campsite than the trail to the ridge line. But then you remembered that God can redeem anything so you prayed he would redeem this night hike. Remember how you could barely walk 15 feet before you had to catch your breath- yet up that mountain you went. Remember when you thought you would settle for just sleeping there on...

It happened so quietly and peacefully and yet made me lift my head and think deeply. Why did it fall now? A single vibrant autumn leaf falling quickly from the three branches cut from that tree in our front yard now finding its' home on a table in our house. It brushed the wall on its way down and tapped the floor. It's sound was strangely noticeable on an early, foggy, quiet morning. There was no wind in our house of course. No squirrel shaking those skinny branches. It just did. Did fall at that moment. The shear weight of gravity. It couldn't hold on any longer.  In the moment that followed as I wondered why that leaf fell then, I realized that I am like the branches. There are things I want to hold onto that I just simply can't. I follow the same rhythms as nature. I am created by a wonderful Creator just like the stars in the sky and the leaves on the trees. Sometimes we don't notice those leaves falling. Gusts of wind comes and we know they will be carri...

Sometimes I tell Aaron I wish I was an animal or bug instead of a human because then I wouldn't have to plan complex things, resolve conflict, or worry about a schedule. Depending on the animal, I could do things like hop from tree to tree, swim in cool waters all day long, lounge around in the shade, or soar through the clouds. (side note: I realize animals actually do resolve conflict and plan complex things it just seems a bit different than humans...). The one time I expressed this desire to Aaron, I think I used the example animal of a cow simply because we were driving by a field of cows. He informed me this is not that normal- most people do not desire to be cows- so I have made a habit of not generally bringing this thought up in conversation. I was in a bit of a funk today. A silly funk. One of those no-good-reason funks. I was standing under the shade of our dogwood tree watching our dogs play and looked up to find this hidden little creature keeping me company. Matthew...