A surrender of the heart

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In the spirit of trying to simplify, I've pulled some books off the shelf that had a bit too many layers of dust and spines that were hardly broken. It was time for them to find a new home in the local thrift store. I pulled off one titled Battlefield of the Mind. There was a book study at FCA my freshman year of college and I tried to read it and get into it and I just couldn't. It's not that I actually disagreed with many of her points, I just- well I couldn't put my finger on it- but I couldn't get into it.

Yesterday at church, we gathered together in small clusters and discussed a passage from Ephesians 4 about getting rid of your old self- anger, bitterness, rage- and being clothed with the new self- with His righteousness. We read verse after verse...

Set your mind on things above...
Whatever is noble, excellent, praise worthy... think about such things....

We even emphasized the grace of Christ. It's not that we are trying real hard to earn his love or approval, but that He works in us.

Yes, yes, I know these things in my brain, but sometimes there's just that disconnect to my heart and I couldn't place it until I started journaling this afternoon and the disconnect came to me.

There is a real battlefield of the mind, but there's no victory without first- and continually- a surrender of the heart.

 There's a picture of a "battlefield" that comes to mind in which I am trying to stand strong and throw "scripture bombs" or charge forward in total courage or some other funny image of me trying to do battle against the lies.

But the battlefield God call us to is the one in which we've tried everything on our own and we've made a bloody mess and we are on our knees in the trenches and we raise a stained, tattered white flag. We surrender. We need Jesus. 

We need the One who first surrendered His heart. He surrendered His will and He teaches us to pray the same things:

"Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Matthew 6:10

The animal sacrifices and burnt offerings that were done annual for years before Christ can't fully atone for our sins. Jesus died once and for all to pay the price. Now our sacrifice is no longer animals. We do not bring that to the alter. We are asked to bring something more costly. Our own lives. To lay ourselves upon the alter. To surrender fully to Jesus- the name that is greater than all other names. The one who first surrendered.

"For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
    you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
    a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
-Psalm 51:16-17

Here we will find what we were looking for in the first place. Here we will find victory.

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