On an unfair life
My life is not fair. It's true. I am going to say it. I believe it.
I have things I don't deserve.
Aaron and I were talking about his mission trip in which he is leaving next Friday for 10 days to go love some orphans in Ukraine. I have generally been really excited for him even though I am not able to go. A little fear was sparked when a co-worker shared with Aaron her concern for him going to Ukraine because she had a friend go in high school on a mission trip there and was killed. Aaron is going to Ukraine and he could not come back. But at the same time, Aaron will drive a car to work on Monday and he could not come back. This is reality. I need not fear.
Friday night, we had "date night" which always consists of a really, and I mean really, good dinner and a movie. This five star dinner included the last steak from our locally, grass-fed cow and sauteed onions and mushrooms with a white wine and blue cheese sauce. Is your mouth watering yet? Anyhow, as we were getting ready for bed and laying in the intimacy and vulnerability of each others arms, I just started crying- good tears though.
I don't deserve Aaron. I have things I don't deserve. If God were to take him away, although I know my flesh would be angry with Him at times, I would have no reason to be angry because I never deserved him in the first place. I am not trying to have a pity party on myself at all. I am just speaking the truth.
I have things I don't deserve and Jesus calls this grace.
A song by Relient K simply says, "But the beauty of grace is that is makes life not fair." This grace is so beautiful, so sweet.
The real grace I am talking about isn't just about having a husband. Because I realize I am talking about having good things I don't deserve. What about bad things it seems people don't deserve? Why am I enjoying the comfort of my husbands arms when teenage girls in Calcutta are sold to be prostitutes? Why am I eating nice locally grown and grass fed beef when children in Nicaragua are picking through trash dumps? Why do I have a roof over my head when people in Ghana have nothing but a canvas tent and mud caked floors?
I don't have an answer to those questions. All I know is the beauty of this grace offered to people in the bush of Africa, the mansions of Beverly Hills, the slums of Calcutta, the million dollar condos of New York City, the trash dumps of Nicaragua, the beggars in Atlanta, the sweatshops of China, the simple folks of Clemson, SC:
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." -John 3:16
Now this is grace. This is undeserved. We are sinners undeserving of eternity with Jesus. We have all turned out backs on the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love of God that comes through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And yet He is the Father standing there with arms open calling out to His children all over the world...
Come home to me. For with me is undeserved grace. I have given you the greatest gift that you. don't. deserve.
I have things I don't deserve.
Aaron and I were talking about his mission trip in which he is leaving next Friday for 10 days to go love some orphans in Ukraine. I have generally been really excited for him even though I am not able to go. A little fear was sparked when a co-worker shared with Aaron her concern for him going to Ukraine because she had a friend go in high school on a mission trip there and was killed. Aaron is going to Ukraine and he could not come back. But at the same time, Aaron will drive a car to work on Monday and he could not come back. This is reality. I need not fear.
Friday night, we had "date night" which always consists of a really, and I mean really, good dinner and a movie. This five star dinner included the last steak from our locally, grass-fed cow and sauteed onions and mushrooms with a white wine and blue cheese sauce. Is your mouth watering yet? Anyhow, as we were getting ready for bed and laying in the intimacy and vulnerability of each others arms, I just started crying- good tears though.
I don't deserve Aaron. I have things I don't deserve. If God were to take him away, although I know my flesh would be angry with Him at times, I would have no reason to be angry because I never deserved him in the first place. I am not trying to have a pity party on myself at all. I am just speaking the truth.
I have things I don't deserve and Jesus calls this grace.
A song by Relient K simply says, "But the beauty of grace is that is makes life not fair." This grace is so beautiful, so sweet.
The real grace I am talking about isn't just about having a husband. Because I realize I am talking about having good things I don't deserve. What about bad things it seems people don't deserve? Why am I enjoying the comfort of my husbands arms when teenage girls in Calcutta are sold to be prostitutes? Why am I eating nice locally grown and grass fed beef when children in Nicaragua are picking through trash dumps? Why do I have a roof over my head when people in Ghana have nothing but a canvas tent and mud caked floors?
I don't have an answer to those questions. All I know is the beauty of this grace offered to people in the bush of Africa, the mansions of Beverly Hills, the slums of Calcutta, the million dollar condos of New York City, the trash dumps of Nicaragua, the beggars in Atlanta, the sweatshops of China, the simple folks of Clemson, SC:
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." -John 3:16
Now this is grace. This is undeserved. We are sinners undeserving of eternity with Jesus. We have all turned out backs on the grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love of God that comes through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And yet He is the Father standing there with arms open calling out to His children all over the world...
Come home to me. For with me is undeserved grace. I have given you the greatest gift that you. don't. deserve.
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