Sing your way into the truth.
I'm holding that book with those thin gold outlined pages in the dead of night reading out loud because I've woken up wide awake and full of fear. I hate that. I hate that I stub my toe on the same rock over and over- fear. But I read the words aloud until my heart calms down.
I settle myself back into bed with the music on my iPad playing through the headphones and into my ears and mind.
Because sometimes, you gotta sing your way into the truth.
I hear Him say, You're safe. You ran to me and you are hidden in my strong tower. Filled with peace, good tears leak out of my eyes and into my hair as I lay on my back in bed.
Rising the next day, I go and place my feet on holy, prayer-filled ground. It doesn't take but three minutes of sitting there and I realize. My words come out fast on paper, my prayers of repentance. Because only in seeing how we can't do it alone although we try so hard, can we believe we need a Savior.
After reading seven prayers over seven days as part of a nation wide call to prayer this July, I am stirred and convicted by the we repent prayers. And so my personal prayer flows now.
I repent of believing that I need to be in control revealing that I don't trust You to be sovereign and good. I repent of feeling like I need to have all the right answers and therefore waste time creating answers for all the possible scenarios instead of trusting your timing. I repent of believing that productivity is more important than fruitfulness thereby relying on immediate results, to-do lists checked off, and self-fulfillment. I repent of not coming to you with my concerns and not laying them down at the foot of the cross and instead carrying all that weight on my own back. I repent of blaming you for this load I carry when all you want is to carry it for me. I repent of believing the lie that I can't hear your voice and instead of pushing toward you, lean on my own understanding.
The words come to me: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and he will make straight your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-7
And the knots in my back leave. Like they do every time. I smile. The best medicine, doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, or self-help techniques cannot soothe my achy, tense body the way my Maker can. He has me and he will never let me go.
I am filled with gratitude. Instead of fearing the end of summer and the beginning of the school year, I allow myself to think of my kids at school and my classroom and co-workers and the changing of seasons and the turning of leaves and the gut-wrenching laughter that happens daily in my classroom and I am not scared anymore. I do not walk each day alone. I walk it with the my Maker who take my burdens and carries them for me.
This morning, I leave the new tire smell of the automotive shop that I just spent an hour and half sitting in with my nose stuck in a book and I smile giddily at the warm sunshine on my face, reaching deep to my bones. Yes, it's the middle of summer. Half of it is gone. And I still have half of it to look forward to. The heat and humidity comfort me as the blue sky opens up to a joyful, free day. I want to spend each moment grateful for where I am and what I am doing.
And I mentally add to my gift list: Tomatoes picked right off the vine. Getting lost in summer reads. Intently working on a puzzle taking over our farmhouse table while we talk of life with friends. A good glass of wine over dinner. The sparkle in his eyes when he comes home from work. Freshly laid mulch and edged grass lines. Sweat dripping from hard labor. Completed house projects. The hum of my sewing machine. Standing over the sink letting peach juice run down my chin. Ice cubes clinking in my ice brewed coffee. Windows down and sun warming my face. I don't want to miss all these gifts. I won't miss these gifts.
And when I start too forget, I will keeping on singing my way into the truth.
I settle myself back into bed with the music on my iPad playing through the headphones and into my ears and mind.
Because sometimes, you gotta sing your way into the truth.
I hear Him say, You're safe. You ran to me and you are hidden in my strong tower. Filled with peace, good tears leak out of my eyes and into my hair as I lay on my back in bed.
Rising the next day, I go and place my feet on holy, prayer-filled ground. It doesn't take but three minutes of sitting there and I realize. My words come out fast on paper, my prayers of repentance. Because only in seeing how we can't do it alone although we try so hard, can we believe we need a Savior.
After reading seven prayers over seven days as part of a nation wide call to prayer this July, I am stirred and convicted by the we repent prayers. And so my personal prayer flows now.
I repent of believing that I need to be in control revealing that I don't trust You to be sovereign and good. I repent of feeling like I need to have all the right answers and therefore waste time creating answers for all the possible scenarios instead of trusting your timing. I repent of believing that productivity is more important than fruitfulness thereby relying on immediate results, to-do lists checked off, and self-fulfillment. I repent of not coming to you with my concerns and not laying them down at the foot of the cross and instead carrying all that weight on my own back. I repent of blaming you for this load I carry when all you want is to carry it for me. I repent of believing the lie that I can't hear your voice and instead of pushing toward you, lean on my own understanding.
The words come to me: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to Him and he will make straight your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-7
And the knots in my back leave. Like they do every time. I smile. The best medicine, doctors, physical therapists, chiropractors, or self-help techniques cannot soothe my achy, tense body the way my Maker can. He has me and he will never let me go.
I am filled with gratitude. Instead of fearing the end of summer and the beginning of the school year, I allow myself to think of my kids at school and my classroom and co-workers and the changing of seasons and the turning of leaves and the gut-wrenching laughter that happens daily in my classroom and I am not scared anymore. I do not walk each day alone. I walk it with the my Maker who take my burdens and carries them for me.
This morning, I leave the new tire smell of the automotive shop that I just spent an hour and half sitting in with my nose stuck in a book and I smile giddily at the warm sunshine on my face, reaching deep to my bones. Yes, it's the middle of summer. Half of it is gone. And I still have half of it to look forward to. The heat and humidity comfort me as the blue sky opens up to a joyful, free day. I want to spend each moment grateful for where I am and what I am doing.
And I mentally add to my gift list: Tomatoes picked right off the vine. Getting lost in summer reads. Intently working on a puzzle taking over our farmhouse table while we talk of life with friends. A good glass of wine over dinner. The sparkle in his eyes when he comes home from work. Freshly laid mulch and edged grass lines. Sweat dripping from hard labor. Completed house projects. The hum of my sewing machine. Standing over the sink letting peach juice run down my chin. Ice cubes clinking in my ice brewed coffee. Windows down and sun warming my face. I don't want to miss all these gifts. I won't miss these gifts.
And when I start too forget, I will keeping on singing my way into the truth.
Comments
Post a Comment