Slow it down

              I am learning about being slow. I have noticed a pattern in myself where I just rush. I try to maximize all time,= by doing everything quickly. I try sleep as late as I can in the morning, but when I get up I rush. I rush to make lunch, eat breakfast, read a few verses, and run out the door. I don't budget time for  conversations with Aaron or any mishaps. I rush and I mean RUSH alot at school. It just feels like there are so few hours to do what I want and it takes so long to do hygiene stuff, that I rush through it so we can do activities. Even during working with children I try to do things quickly so we can get as many goals worked on rather than focusing on one.
              Last week I wrote about learning to eliminate things. I am eliminating to do things well. I don't want to rush. When I am rushed, my attitude is completely different. I don't enjoy what I am doing. I am trying to get it done quickly so I can go on to the next thing. I am more quick to anger and slow listen.
             Sometimes, I feel like part of that is the job. I am not typically a rushed person. I love slow summer and quiet Saturday mornings. But I noticed a scary thing this week... I end up rushing things in my personal life. Looking at the clock and watching the minutes until I want to be in bed and then rush the evening to get things done. That is NOT healthy and not something I want permanently in my life.
             When I rush, I don't enjoy things.
             We spent some time make pens (yes... wood pens using a lathe) at the Potter's Place on Tuesday. I was worried about the time it took because I want to go to bed and because Aaron had a ton of homework, but I noticed the contrast in my attitude verses Don's. I don't think they worry about time ever. Now granted my life looks very different than theirs, but I've thought back to days in which I took my time and those were my favorite days at school.
             Monday night I was really tired and in a hurry to get to the grocery store to buy only milk and deodorant, so I accelerated out of our carport right into a friend's car.... the insurance will cover everything... everyone is fine. But that was so silly of me. I was in a hurry and I caused someone else to pay the price or at least time and energy in his case. Now I realize that can happen to anyone really, but it still made me realize, I am not taking time to look around a be aware. It's this dangerous tunnel vision.
              I realize people at school tell me things and I nod and then I realize, "Oh no, I don't remember what you said," because I am thinking about what needs to be done.
           
            Last night at house church, Jordan mentioned something that they learned about in the prayer teaching at our church. It is breathing prayer. She said they were encouraged to think about our breaths glorifying God and whispering a prayer such as "Abba, I belong to you." Say "Abba," when you breathe in and "I belong to you," when you breathe out. I loved that. It hit home with me, because when I get in a rush or really stressed, I actually hold my breath. I noticed this a few years ago and try to then take deep breaths... but they've always seemed kind of meaningless... because it doesn't help my mind and heart. But I can connect my mind and heart with what my body is doing by saying prayers when I breathe. It's beautiful. In doing that, we are imitating our creator who breathes life.

There's an awesome verse that comes after a very commonly recited one:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Don't consider yourself to be wise, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. This will be HEALING FOR YOUR BODY and STRENGTHENING FOR YOUR BONES." -Proverbs 3:5-7

Here's a neat article I found on "Breath Prayers"
http://www.soulshepherding.org/2012/07/breath-prayers/