Lilley of the field

I'm holding that book with those thin gold outlined pages in the dead of night reading out loud because I've woken up wide awake and full of fear. I hate that. I hate that I stub my toe on the same rock over and over- fear. But I read the words aloud until my heart calms down. I settle myself back into bed with the music on my iPad playing through the headphones and into my ears and mind. Because sometimes, you gotta sing your way into the truth . I hear Him say, Y ou're safe. You ran to me and you are hidden in my strong tower .  Filled with peace,  good tears leak out of my eyes and into my hair as I lay on my back in bed. Rising the next day, I go and place my feet on holy, prayer-filled ground . It doesn't take but three minutes of sitting there and I realize. My words come out fast on paper, my prayers of repentance. Because only in seeing how we can't do it alone although we try so hard, can we believe we need a Savior. After reading seven prayers ov...

After a wonderful day, our last 15 minutes ended in mild frustration over silly things as we got ready for bed. We then got a phone call from some good friends who were coming into town and needed a place to stay. Being a "place to crash" is one of our favorite things and yet we didn't know whether we wanted to stay up and wait and be good hosts or go to bed. My body said "bed," my heart said, "stay up and blog." Because in 15 minutes I'd somehow forgotten how the rest of my day went. So onto my day while we await dear friends. (Hello, Funciks!) In typical love-of-Ann-Voskamp style this shall be a list of gifts. Beautifully, my last post was about feeling drained and realizing the sweetness of being thankful and how that affects our perception of everything we do. When we bring the dark caverns of our heart to light, we experience a lightness in and of itself that releases us from all obligations in this world allowing us to freely receive God...

We've been reflecting some lately- Aaron and I. It could be something in the cool weather or more likely, it's that while we're going 90 miles and hour we every once in a while catch a glimpse of something in our review mirror that makes us do a double take and we think about how we would like to pull our vehicle of life over to the side for a moment a pause. It could have been pulling out my paintings for Artful Worship and realizing I hadn't painted in a couple years. It could have been finishing painting our back bedroom and moving back my dusty craft supplies and mildewy suitcases that haven't seen light in a while. It could have been the multiple nights of dirty dishes we've been leaving out when we usually like going to bed with a clean counter. It could have been the weeds in our garden, the dead petunias in the flower pots outside our front door, or the  grass that took Aaron three times as long to mow because it was so tall. It could have been catchin...

I called Aaron at 3:05 today on my way home from school today and our conversation went like this: Me: Hey! Guess what?! I'm on my way home.  Aaron: That's good news! Me: Yea, I am going home early. I have poop on my pants.     Pause.     Well, not my poop of course. Aaron: That's good clarification. Yep, just another day in my classroom.  Thankful for showers and clean pants. 84. hot water. 85. running water 86. rabbit trails 87. You in everything 88. sunlight touch the tips of trees 89. the crunch of cutting carrots 90. lazy mornings 91. days off 92. cloudless skies 93. bamboo branches bending in the breeze 94. leaves dancing in circles across the asphalt 95. the wind 97. the ping of a tennis ball 98. the pop of the tennis ball can 99. a bed 100. three crosses on a hill, you bled and died for me 101. a neighborly wave 102. funny of man on a run 103. the crackle of a fireplace 104. deep sleep bre...

I am not sure I will be able to keep up with the number of gifts that I write down... this may be too much. And yet as I read over them right this very moment before typing them out, I smile. I remember. This is why I write them down- to remember. So typing them again is just another beautiful way for me to remember and reflect.  Should I leave each one a mystery or tell the stories? I believe I will indeed tell some stories :) 33. chacos and ice cream in January 34. crinkly eyes 35. waking up to rain 36. laughter and stories at the dinner table ____________________________ We reach day 10 at school after break. We're still in tact- mostly. I bring my sewing machine to make a simple "quilt top" for the letter Q. The children are entranced. I love the feel of the fabric as it slides under the foot. I love the conversation that ensures among myself and my assistants about memories of mother's sewing while growing up- remembering handmade dresses and outd...

And the list goes on... 6. light in my pastor's eyes 7. a chorus of believers 8. sun streaming 9. birds chirping 10. dogs wrestling in the front yard 11. the alarm clock 12. scripture in my pocket 13. waterfalls 14. sitting in my spot on the couch 15. steam rising off the plate at dinner prayers 16. stories of praise! 17. the smell of onion and garlic sauteeing 18. kids making scienfic predictions (unexpectedly) 19. kids loving books read aloud 20. feet walking while I pray 21. kids seeing there reflection 22. laugher 23. a noisy house 24. chaos in the gym 25. smiles on their faces 26. on your mark, get set, go 27. children calling, "Mrs. Lilley!" 28. divine energy 29. a student walking in her walker 30. perfectly timed help 31. second hands 32. stories of praise of my kids 33. chacos and ice cream in january I have loved making this list. It constantly is forcing me to s   l   o   w   down and ask, "In this moment, ...

I am reading One Thousand Gifts  by Ann Voskamp and I decided to do my own 1,000 gifts and hopefully keep up with them here. After reading the book, I've started doing it in my mind and there is power and remembrance in writing them down so here we go: 1. morning walks in the winter 2. frozen dew sparkling in the morning sunlight 3. laying my head on Aaron's chest and listening to his heartbeat 4. two dogs laying by the window 5. wind rustling through the trees