Lilley of the field

Do you ever want to really explain something so significant in your life, but you come up short with words? Are there really words to describe the greatest joys and deepest sorrows of life? In Brennan Manning's book,  The Ragamuffin Gospel  (which I can't recommend enough), he writes that trying to comprehend God's love is like trying to contain Niagara Falls in a tea cup. I feel overwhelmed by the sheer love and mercy of the Lord looking at these pictures my good friend Mary Ashley took of my feet. My little tea cup has shattered because His grace just can't be contained. So in feeble words- I will at least tell my story in hopes that you will hear His story of love and mercy which is intended to be the theme of all our stories.   - - - -  Five years ago, during my first year teaching, I started coming home from school with terrible pain in my feet. I developed plantar fasciitis. Your plantar fascia is a band of connective tissue that runs along the sol...

A dear friend commented on my last blog post and noticed how the last post before I broke finger included this line: "What if is brokenness is an opportunity to experience healing?" Wow. Moral of the story? Be careful what you write. But of course there are way bigger morals to the story- such as God loves to heal. He will take care of my every need. He will never leave of forsake me. It is bright, sunny and warm outside. Spring is announcing itself with unfurling leaves, swaying branches, and chirping bird making sweet morning melodies. Six weeks ago there was an ice storm and a new dog. To this day, six weeks ago, on the first day of Lent, I broke my finger chasing that new dog through the snow. Now all that remains is a tiny, red knob where the bone grew back, some very minimal swelling, and stiff muscles. I have learned so many things throughout the last six weeks and probably will have to keep relearning so many of them, but the beauty and difficulty of healing has o...

We awoke to a thick, glorious blanket of snow on the ground this Thursday morning. Knowing school was already cancelled, I proceeded to make a delicious breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast because while everyone was picking up milk and bread at the store yesterday before the storm, what was I getting? Bacon. Snow storms call for it. While eating breakfast, the sun cracked open the morning spilling sparkling light all over the white lawn. It was calling my name. Walking in the snow by myself is like entering this glorious secret that very few know about. Just me and God out there. Except of course it was me, God, Clark, our new dog, and Luna, our old dog. I have since forgiven our new dog for making me chase him into our neighbors yard and break my finger last week. I have since then also gotten creative at accomplishing many mundane, daily tasks. One being walking the dogs. I double Clark's leash and loop it around my right elbow. Then I put the end of Luna's leash ...

I tap and type away here with 7 fingers. Two are bandaged together on my dominant hand rendering my pinky useless while typing. Slow and thoughtful goes my typing and slow and thoughtful goes my heart. Yesterday marks the first day of Lent and with that we marked our foreheads with ashes in the shape of a cross. This day snuck up on us this year. The past few years, I have thoughtfully prayed and chosen a way to embrace Lent either through the giving up of something (like food) or the taking on of something (like silence) in order to draw closer to God, to remember the sacrifice of Christ, and to make room for the Holy Spirit to speak. But I found myself coming up empty handed this year. Last night, we sang songs, lit candles, laughed, confessed, and reflected in our warm living room- a haven from the whipping wind and icy temperatures. We wrote out confessions on paper and burned them together in a bucket, slowly mixing water into it to make the ashes with which we marked...

I didn't think I needed Jesus today. On Easter of all days. I woke up with the bright sun shining, life bursting with possibilities and new joys. Of course, I didn't say those words out loud, but I acted that way because something unthinkable happened on Easter. I actually sinned. I said and thought selfish thing before we actually even arrived at church. Somehow I was frustrated by that. I thought, I am a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come. Today is a different day. It's Easter. I am supposed to be holier today- more selfless from this day forward. Only there sin came breaking in again. My earthly nature creeping through those cracks in this little jar of clay. This morning as I sat in church and sang songs of praise with my brothers and sister, I contemplated the rugged cross that hung before us and before the communion bread and juice. Believing in Jesus isn't the end. It's really the beginning. Easter is not the end- it's the beginn...

Right before Jesus leaves earth after rising from the grave he tells his friends, "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit , teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always until the end of the age." (Matthew 28: 19-20) - - - - -  The skies were grey and the rain poured hard. The heavens unleashed their grace and lavished us with good, unexpected things. Instead of heading to Lake Hartwell for baptisms the way our church normally does due to the rain, our plan B became driving over to a Baptist Church and celebrating baptisms there. There was minor disappointment and a wonder among some if it would mean as much to be baptized in a place that had no personal or emotional ties for us at DCF. The pews stretched out across their sanctuary. Jesus was etched in colorful glass in each window depicting scenes from his life. I walked past Jesus in Gethsemene, Jesus on the cros...

I've been trying to concoct words for this post. How can I describe something so significant with words? How can I do it justice? Aaron and I are getting baptized this Sunday. But the part that I've been trying to write about is my story. Being baptized it a public declaration of one's faith and a symbol representing the burial, death, and resurrection of Jesus. As believer's we enter into this and claim Jesus as our Savior. Saving us from our sin and bonding and saving us from eternity separated from God. Along with baptism, comes the sharing of our testimony. We give witness to what God has done in our lives. I struggle with this sometimes because I don't have a shocking story. There's no bolt of lightning. I cannot even pinpoint one actual day in which I accepted Christ. My growth and faith as been gradual having grown up in the church. I often believe the lie that my story is insignificant. This week, I had been particularly struggling with that beca...

I am digging in the dirt and planting in our backyard while attempting to watching the dogs and make sure they don't get into mischief. I search for them until I find them digging at the edge of our property. And I see it- right there in the thicket and shade are feet and feet of thorny shoots rising up from the ground and getting tangled in the trees above. I have had the desire to make a crown of thorns as a tangible reminder of Jesus's sacrifice to keep for each Easter and these are perfect. I don't want a table set with pastel colors, plastic easter eggs, and chocolate bunnies. While I definitely do not condemn any of that, in fact, I am using easter eggs to retell the story of Christ tomorrow to the children at church, there becomes a point when we want more than just the eggs and bunnies. I want the greusome. I want to see what He went through and feel the immense weight of His love that led Him to the cross. I retrieve the clippers and start with a thick vine, ...

I’ve just begun reading Everyday Justice by Julie Clawson. In the book, Julie unpacks how we get the goods that we daily buy- food, clothing, gas, and more- and shows us the negative impact it can have on the environment and people around the globe. When I asked my friend, Darlene, if she enjoyed the book, she said, “Well, I don’t know if ‘enjoyed’ is quite the word for it.” These books and thoughts and discoveries more or less wreck your life in the best way possible. Jesus wrecks my life in the best way possible. In a world that is driven by a desire for comfort and happiness, I am learning the value of living in the uncomfortable. Because once I know these truths, I am held responsible. How can I turn a blind eye? Now that’s an uncomfortable thought. It’s ok to be uncomfortable sometimes. It’s ok to be uncomfortable as we wrestle with how to make daily choices that glorify God. This is what we call “pressing in.” When things get hard or questions arise, human tenden...

Are we are one in the Spirit, are we are one in the Lord? Are we are one in the Spirit, are we are one in the Lord? Will we  pray that all unity may one day be restored? Will they know we are Christians by our love, by our love? Will they know we are Christians by our love? Will we  work with each other, will we work side by side? Will we will work with each other, will we work side by side? Will we  guard each one's dignity and save each one's pride? Will they know we are Christians by our love, by our love? Will they will know we are Christians by our love? Will we walk with each other, will we walk hand in hand? Will we walk with each other, will we walk hand in hand? Will we s pread the news that God is in our land? Will they know we are Christians by our love, by our love? Will they will know we are Christians by our love? This song has been playing in my mind for several days. I changed the italicized words above so that is not the original lyrics. I ch...

I should be doing school work for this week, but after going to a funeral, it doesn't seem as important and I'd rather write here real quickly. Today I went to a funeral for a former student of mine who was on homebound (meaning he was never in my class- his instruction took place at home). I have another child from their home in my class currently and I wanted to be there to support and bless the family. When I picked up the order of the service sheet, I noticed that the second song was one we sang at church this morning and I immediately smiled. The song is called "10,000" Reasons. Here are the words: [Chorus] Bless the Lord, O my soul O my soul Worship His holy name Sing like never before O my soul I'll worship Your holy name The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning It's time to sing Your song again Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me Let me be singing when the evening comes [Chorus] You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger ...

Aaron calls on his way home from work today and we talk for a few minutes and he asks, "So, what are we cooking for dinner tonight?" We talk about leftover options and cooking new things. I am standing there with the fridge door wide open, wishing the afternoon hadn't gotten away from me, grouchy and hungry and suddenly, I see the potatoes and I  really want a potato. Baked potoato. Sour cream. melting cheddar cheese. All of it. I suggest this, but Aaron can tell I'm grouchy and doesn't understand. We get confused and finally realize we are both agreeing on potatoes. It seemed like a silly conversation and I was frustrated with myself for being so grouchy. - - - - - I had been thinking about my fast this Lent which began last Wednesday. I've made it a week without breaking it, but I felt myself breaking today. I gave up sweets and in particular snacking in the afternoon before dinner. I could feel myself coming home from school on most days and just waitin...