Lilley of the field

I just finished reading The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. It was a very sad, yet thought provoking book written essentially about racial beauty. In the afterward, Toni Morrison writes about how she wanted to explore the idea of how someone so young and vulnerable can come to wear ugly and believe it, how a an innocent child can take every comment, action, and stare to shame them for things they are not responsible for. I appreciated one thing in particular about the book. It told the book from the perspective of several characters. The people that I hated in the beginning, I gained sympathy for as I read their story of childhood. It reminded me of how we each have a story and these stories make us who we are and yet don't have to define us. Sometimes, we often times let our past determine our future, our upbringing determine our character, our warped perspectives dictate our actions. Two main themes of the book would probably be be love and beauty. On the last page of the book sh...

I called Aaron at 3:05 today on my way home from school today and our conversation went like this: Me: Hey! Guess what?! I'm on my way home.  Aaron: That's good news! Me: Yea, I am going home early. I have poop on my pants.     Pause.     Well, not my poop of course. Aaron: That's good clarification. Yep, just another day in my classroom.  Thankful for showers and clean pants. 84. hot water. 85. running water 86. rabbit trails 87. You in everything 88. sunlight touch the tips of trees 89. the crunch of cutting carrots 90. lazy mornings 91. days off 92. cloudless skies 93. bamboo branches bending in the breeze 94. leaves dancing in circles across the asphalt 95. the wind 97. the ping of a tennis ball 98. the pop of the tennis ball can 99. a bed 100. three crosses on a hill, you bled and died for me 101. a neighborly wave 102. funny of man on a run 103. the crackle of a fireplace 104. deep sleep bre...

I've asked and begged and pleaded for and rejoiced over and relaxed near and felt warmth from the fire in our fireplace. Aaron has taken time out of his work to make it just for me because he knows I will be so happy with the flames dancing and the wood cracking and the embers flying and the coals glowing. It's a "snow day" (aka sleet day) you know and we're home from work early so we have to have a fire. He has been the expert fire stoker as well tending to it carefully. He is getting ready to leave to get his car taken care of at the shop. He leaves wood by the fire, stokes it one last time, and say emphatically: "Don't let the fire go out." I do pretty good at first. I add a log here, a log there, but he's taking longer than I expect to return and I'm running low on the wood he left me. I can't remember which was more important: not to let the fire go out or to not go through most of the wood we have stacked by the door in our ga...

Here's what I've learned from my first "snow-day" as a teacher: Teachers will always be kids at heart. I'm pretty sure we were more excited than the kids. Immediate visions of sweatpants, hot chocolate (oh no, is that fair trade?!), watching movies, and fires in the fireplace came to mind. Even though am in the public school world, most of my friends are out of it. I thought I'd check facebook for comments about snow days and school out only to find that there weren't any! NONE! What?! Getting older I guess... - - - - - So this gives me some time today to answer some questions I laid out yesterday about fair trade. I'm going to post any research, articles, and websites that I find. Also, this is MY journey. I encourage each person to wrestle with these things and figure out what it means for them. I do not judge anyone. If there are people who struggle to make ends meet or put food on the table, by all means, please shop at Wal-mart if you ne...

This week is the letter S at school. Super, stupendous, satisfying, savvy S. This meant my week would be filled with kids shouting, " Robots!!!! " or dancing to our  Have Fun Teaching Letter S Song  or pulling objects that start with the letter S out of a s ock or s melling things like coffee or herbs or soap. Friday would be filled with  Salt art  and snowman art and s'mores. That's really the best part of the week- cooking on Fridays! We all love it. Friday is a no data taking, relaxing for a little bit, and hugging the kids a little harder day. But in the back of my mind this week has been: chocolate. You can't have a s'more without chocolate. That's like having ice cream without the cream or spaghetti without sauce or steak without potatoes. The other thing about teaching is... it's way to easy to spend lots of money on these cute little kiddos who want to do all these fun things and learn in all these multi-sensory ways. I mean forget the fa...

Well I know some people are eagerly awaiting certain pictures so I thought I'd give some before and after pictures on my day off of school to celebrate MLK day. I realize it is not exactly the same to show before and after pictures in different seasons, but just check out the front door and shutters... thank you Lilley's!! We love the front door. BEFORE: AFTER: major difference. And now just imagine all the tree and dogwoods and azaleas and green grass. Next on the list: paint the blank rails, a little welcome sign, and a pot with pretty flowers. Before: It was like a regular bedroom door      After: Sunlight!!! Before: Old pool with trees growing up in the middle and pool steps covered in poison ivy After: brush cleared, ivy gone, red fence down, pool gone, pool steps disassembled! The other most significant house investment... the bathroom. There was much sweat, blood, tears, and curse words put into this thing. Before:...

I just finished  Unspoken and Unashamed by Francine Rivers. You can read each one in about 2 hours. These books are a part of a collection of books about the 5 women mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. Unspoken is about Bathsheba, an adulterous woman who sleeps with king David, but is forgiven by the Lord and ends up bearing Solomon who becomes king of Israel after David dies. Unashamed is about Rahab, a pagan prostitute, who hides spies when the Israelites come to take over Jericho and claim the promised land. In turn, they save her life and she marries one of the spies who came. She gives birth to Boaz who is in the line of the Messiah. While these books are historical fiction, they are a beautiful picture of the gospel and amazingly the basis of the stories are true. God takes the least of us and makes beautiful things. These Bible stories that I so easily pass over come to life and I realize these were real people, making real mistakes, and making real decisions to choose ...

I am not sure I will be able to keep up with the number of gifts that I write down... this may be too much. And yet as I read over them right this very moment before typing them out, I smile. I remember. This is why I write them down- to remember. So typing them again is just another beautiful way for me to remember and reflect.  Should I leave each one a mystery or tell the stories? I believe I will indeed tell some stories :) 33. chacos and ice cream in January 34. crinkly eyes 35. waking up to rain 36. laughter and stories at the dinner table ____________________________ We reach day 10 at school after break. We're still in tact- mostly. I bring my sewing machine to make a simple "quilt top" for the letter Q. The children are entranced. I love the feel of the fabric as it slides under the foot. I love the conversation that ensures among myself and my assistants about memories of mother's sewing while growing up- remembering handmade dresses and outd...

I've been concocting this post for a few days because I've been meditating a lot on fear- on the topic of fear, not on my fears themselves. Aaron and I watched a  TED talk  on  what fear can teach us  about a week ago. I mentioned in a  previous post  how we are really enjoying TED talks- or were before I entered back into the real world of work. TED's tag line is "Ideas worth spreading." It is a website and app with 3-60 minute talks on every topic. While secular, I've found so many of the points so true and in a way biblical. Only, the speaker is not backing it up with scripture. I love how God has still wired us to be passionate people and to see him and his creation even if we're not calling it His- crazy. In the TED talk, the speaker explains how our fears could also be called "stories." They are stories we create in our mind about something that may happen. She gives the example of these sailors on the  whale ship Essex (a true story) w...

And the list goes on... 6. light in my pastor's eyes 7. a chorus of believers 8. sun streaming 9. birds chirping 10. dogs wrestling in the front yard 11. the alarm clock 12. scripture in my pocket 13. waterfalls 14. sitting in my spot on the couch 15. steam rising off the plate at dinner prayers 16. stories of praise! 17. the smell of onion and garlic sauteeing 18. kids making scienfic predictions (unexpectedly) 19. kids loving books read aloud 20. feet walking while I pray 21. kids seeing there reflection 22. laugher 23. a noisy house 24. chaos in the gym 25. smiles on their faces 26. on your mark, get set, go 27. children calling, "Mrs. Lilley!" 28. divine energy 29. a student walking in her walker 30. perfectly timed help 31. second hands 32. stories of praise of my kids 33. chacos and ice cream in january I have loved making this list. It constantly is forcing me to s   l   o   w   down and ask, "In this moment, ...

I've accidentally chosen a word for the year. the WAY. One thing I'd like for this year is to learn to listen to the Lord more. Several days ago in the potter's place I sat in a rocking chair and listened. I experienced God speaking to me tenderly. I felt led to start listening to God and asking Him questions during my prayer time and actually write those things down. When I hear him, all else fades away and gets fuzzy, blurry in the sight of his gloriousness. ___________________ It's January 1st. I am closing my eyes and listening and I ask, "What do you want for me this year?" I want to show you my way . I smile. Yes. For my ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts. I open the Bible and there it is- way- in so many places I'd never realized or hadn't remembered. "As for God his way is perfect...It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." - 2 Sam:31,33 "Commit your way to the Lord...

I am reading One Thousand Gifts  by Ann Voskamp and I decided to do my own 1,000 gifts and hopefully keep up with them here. After reading the book, I've started doing it in my mind and there is power and remembrance in writing them down so here we go: 1. morning walks in the winter 2. frozen dew sparkling in the morning sunlight 3. laying my head on Aaron's chest and listening to his heartbeat 4. two dogs laying by the window 5. wind rustling through the trees

I love books. I know I should "never say never," but I am quite very much sure indeed unlikely to ever use a kindle or nook. There's just something about books- flipping through them, smelling them, holding them. And I love the library. I love the rows of books- the colors, titles, and images that beckon you to pull them off the shelf and enter their world. I love the quietness. Everyone moves so slowly and carefully. It is an odd thing to be fully aware of all that is going on around you and yet so engrossed in what you are reading, but it is possible at a library. Today, I pulled One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp off the shelf to read. It is an incredible book about her journey from such deep brokenness, despair, and doubt into living life fully through thanksgiving. She writes beautifully of her dare to herself to write 1,000 gfits from God that she is thankful for. I have been amazed at how her brilliant writing makes even the most mundane tasks sound so glorious a...