Lilley of the field

Anyone noticing how I'm writing much more? Probably only my mom, dad, and Nana- thanks faithful readers. I know you all are enjoying my increase of time here. - - - - - - Her pepper and salt hair framed her face nicely and her modern, square-rimmed glasses pulled it all together. She sat in the corner of the booth, her husband next to her and her twenty- something son sitting diagonally from her, his leather jacket hung on the back of his chair. Her son and husband were on their smartphones- heads down, pausing occasionally for a sip of good coffee. She quietly looked around the restaurant, at her napkin, at her family sitting at the table with her. The classic American family of 4 sat the booth to my right. The mom and dad positioned across from each other with their elementary aged children huddled together around a tablet next to their dad- his own eyes on his smartphone. The light of their tablets lighting up their faces under the soft light of the hanging pendant lamp ab...

I made this advent calendar for Aaron one Christmas when we were dating. I remember hoping we'd get married when I made it so that I could light it one day too with our family because I liked it so much. I got quite lucky. I'm more grateful for the awesome husband than the candle of course, but that doesn't mean I'll enjoy the candle any less. We have a traditional advent wreath, but light that one only on Sundays and this one throughout the week. Each week I tie on jute with the meaning for the week to this big white candle. Those taper candles wouldn't last all month for us on the traditional advent wreath. My week ended in so. much. joy. After a busy last two week of school filled with tons of sickness, last minute decisions, and nights going to bed at 7:30, I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked out Friday afternoon. An exhale of I made it .  I came home with the most energy I've had all week and started to get the curriculum for our child...

We're just two teenage girls racing against the beat of the song and the fading evening. Racing toward a glimpse of His glory. Her old beat up jeep is grinding forward. We jumped in the car on a whim. We glimpsed the pinks and oranges of the fall sun setting out the window and we're racing to that crest at the top of our high school school. David Crowder has just released a new album and that song is blaring through the speakers:  He set me on fire. I am coming alive. With this breath in my lungs. I am coming undone.  Window down. Hair blowing. Mouths grinning. Time ticking. Sun setting. And we reach it. Just in time to see the brilliant colors lighting up the sky. And just in time to hear the climax of the song: You are my joy. You are my joy. You are my joy.  God's creation and man's song joining together in perfect harmony to bring a glimpse of heaven to two teenage girls. Then the sun finally sets ushering in the piercing dark blue night. The song finall...

I am currently obsessed with this version of The Little Drummer Boy by Pentatonix. Go watch it and be amazed if you haven't already. I am almost embarrassed to admit that I just replayed the last 30 seconds or so about 20 times when the beatbox guy starts doing the stomp clap beat. I tried to learn that stomp clap part, but alas I am left only wishing I was cool enough to do it without a painful thinking/ terribly trying look on my face. Oh well. It doesn't matter because I play my best for Him. Before I found this ridiculously awesome song, I just just playing regular ol' Pandora while a good friend sat at my kitchen counter while I cooked. A different version of Little Drummer Boy came on and she commented briefly about the beauty of that song.  A little boy comes to Jesus and he has nothing to give. All he knows how to play is his drum and so that's what he does. As good as he can. And he's waiting probably. Terrified. The king of the universe could rejec...

Well, merry christmas to me from my awesome husband. Our farmhouse table is finally finished. It was enjoyed for the first time last night at the infamous Pancakes and Ice Cream held during finals week at our house each semester. After months of looking at plans, Aaron mostly followed a plan by  Ana White . We stained it with a stain called "Dark Walnut" and used a satin polyurethane. For the legs Aaron used 4" x 4" posts from an old fence thing found in our backyard. Then he bought the rest of the wood. If I was graded on this whole document-every-stage-of-your-pinterest-projects-so-you-can-put-it-on-your-blog I would be failing. Here's the finished product only! A million other people have pictures out there of every stage of their DIY farmhouse table.  I must put a little side note here about this table too. About our dreams for it. I sat the other day staring at it wondering who would be sitting at it years from now. Little children hopefully- maybe fro...

I just finished Out with it by Katherine Preston. It is an autobiography about her life as a stutterer. I found it beautifully written and intriguing to see into the mind of someone with a  "disability" that doesn't affect them intellectually, but has great impact on their confidence and view of themselves. She writes about her journey growing up believing it was her fault that she had a stutter and always wanting to be fluent- thinking she was a failure if she couldn't be fluent. It was simply an encouragement to me because the book is about embracing the way you were made, finding courage in laughing at embarrassing moments, dismissing critics who believe you won't amount to anything, and ultimately learning that sometimes we are our biggest critic. I love how the Lord can put simple things together in one moment. On Wednesday night during house church we were reading through some scripture to celebrate Advent together. We lit each candle on the advent wreat...

I was able to name my emotion today- pin that elusive, crazy guy, look him straight in the eye, and feel liberation because I had finally identified him- defeated. He couldn't lurk around in the shadows of my mind anymore. He was brought to light. Defeated. I racked my brain for creative ways to motivate one particular student today- came to school armed with  some new ideas. I prayed for angels to surround him on his way to school- for peace, protection, wholeness. The morning seemed successful, but after lunch it went spinning downward fast. I was losing it. I was filled with frustration. I was so disheartened and discouraged. It breaks my heart to see kids progress and regress with so little warning especially when so much of it seems out of my control. It's also a tough time to evaluate the school year. December hits and I realize we're about halfway through the year and of course, like every year, I'm no where near the point I thought I'd be. Well, that...

It happened so quietly and peacefully and yet made me lift my head and think deeply. Why did it fall now? A single vibrant autumn leaf falling quickly from the three branches cut from that tree in our front yard now finding its' home on a table in our house. It brushed the wall on its way down and tapped the floor. It's sound was strangely noticeable on an early, foggy, quiet morning. There was no wind in our house of course. No squirrel shaking those skinny branches. It just did. Did fall at that moment. The shear weight of gravity. It couldn't hold on any longer.  In the moment that followed as I wondered why that leaf fell then, I realized that I am like the branches. There are things I want to hold onto that I just simply can't. I follow the same rhythms as nature. I am created by a wonderful Creator just like the stars in the sky and the leaves on the trees. Sometimes we don't notice those leaves falling. Gusts of wind comes and we know they will be carri...

I have nothing profound to say here tonight. Only that I am on to the sneaky middle schoolers who trick- or-treated last year and took all our candy we left out. So last year, Aaron and I weren't home on Halloween but it was our first Halloween in this cute neighbor and we wanted to be good neighbors so we set a bowl full of candy out, a little sign, and left the light on. We returned to find 1 piece left in the bowl. We wondered then.... did we have lots of kids come by or just one greedy bunch of middle schoolers? Well now I know! This halloween I bought not just one, but TWO bags of candy because I didn't want to run out. You know how many twirling princesses, stringy-haired, bad make-up witches, bright-eyed plump pumpkins, and over zealous bad-masked ghouls we had? Zero. That's right. Sad, lonely, quiet, plastic-pumpkin-still-full-and-untouched ZERO. And I actually feel sad. For some reason Halloween makes me nostalgic. My parents had this little rug thing that ha...

So we're celebrating "Disabilities Awareness Month" at my school this October. What that basically means is I had a dream about celebrating this at my school and my principal said to go for it. I want to write about it here so that people are encouraged, inspired, and dream. This type of thing may possibly be my favorite part about teaching and working with children. By "type of thing" I mean bridging the gap between special ed and general ed. I love people with special needs. I mean love. If I see them at the grocery store, I have to restrain myself from watching them and I usually try to say "hello," and interact briefly. What I love about people with disabilities is their ability to touch places of your heart that others can't. And yet, there's this stigma. People don't know how to interact with them. It's usually feelings of pity (they don't need it, I promise) or guilt or curiosity that are hinderances. They don't kno...

In the spirit of trying to simplify, I've pulled some books off the shelf that had a bit too many layers of dust and spines that were hardly broken. It was time for them to find a new home in the local thrift store. I pulled off one titled Battlefield of the Mind . There was a book study at FCA my freshman year of college and I tried to read it and get into it and I just couldn't. It's not that I actually disagreed with many of her points, I just- well I couldn't put my finger on it- but I couldn't get into it. Yesterday at church, we gathered together in small clusters and discussed a passage from Ephesians 4 about getting rid of your old self- anger, bitterness, rage- and being clothed with the new self- with His righteousness. We read verse after verse... Set your mind on things above... Whatever is noble, excellent, praise worthy... think about such things.... We even emphasized the grace of Christ. It's not that we are trying real hard to earn his lo...

Sometimes when people move out of Clemson, they often say that they can't find a church like dcf. They are looking, searching, praying, and it's tough to find such rich community. While I am sure that when/ if God calls us out of Clemson, we will say those same things, there's a part of me that says-  that sure would be nice to start over somewhere.  What would it be like to show up at someone else's home where someone else cleaned and made a home cooked meal and planned the discussion? What if we could decide that we didn't want to go to church one Sunday and instead go hiking in the mountains? What if we didn't have lengthy conversations about the direction of the church that seem to drain your energy? Sometimes we just see where we want to be and how we're not there. Or the energy we want to give, but don't have the ability to. The weight that wears on your shoulders as you pray for a group or an individual. The sadness or confusion or disappoin...

After a wonderful day, our last 15 minutes ended in mild frustration over silly things as we got ready for bed. We then got a phone call from some good friends who were coming into town and needed a place to stay. Being a "place to crash" is one of our favorite things and yet we didn't know whether we wanted to stay up and wait and be good hosts or go to bed. My body said "bed," my heart said, "stay up and blog." Because in 15 minutes I'd somehow forgotten how the rest of my day went. So onto my day while we await dear friends. (Hello, Funciks!) In typical love-of-Ann-Voskamp style this shall be a list of gifts. Beautifully, my last post was about feeling drained and realizing the sweetness of being thankful and how that affects our perception of everything we do. When we bring the dark caverns of our heart to light, we experience a lightness in and of itself that releases us from all obligations in this world allowing us to freely receive God...

We've been reflecting some lately- Aaron and I. It could be something in the cool weather or more likely, it's that while we're going 90 miles and hour we every once in a while catch a glimpse of something in our review mirror that makes us do a double take and we think about how we would like to pull our vehicle of life over to the side for a moment a pause. It could have been pulling out my paintings for Artful Worship and realizing I hadn't painted in a couple years. It could have been finishing painting our back bedroom and moving back my dusty craft supplies and mildewy suitcases that haven't seen light in a while. It could have been the multiple nights of dirty dishes we've been leaving out when we usually like going to bed with a clean counter. It could have been the weeds in our garden, the dead petunias in the flower pots outside our front door, or the  grass that took Aaron three times as long to mow because it was so tall. It could have been catchin...

We geared up for the Clemson vs. Georgia game this week. Or in reality- tried to sound more enthused when we were asked about the game. Neither of us are huge football fans, but we both went to large southern universities with students and alumni who pray about, get butterflies during, and cry at football games. It's quite the phenomenon. We are a house divided and since we've been together (7 whole years!) this is the first time they've played each other. During our 4 years burning up miles on i-85 traveling to and from our colleges, they never played each other despite our best hopes. And now here they were playing each other and we going to traveling through several states to land in Memphis, TN for a wedding. We didn't mind really, but did wish we could have heard the deafening roar at Death Valley, tailgated with some friends, and enjoyed the liveliness and explosion of excitement in this little town. All week, when asked, I said I would of course be pullin...

The days ebb and flow- particularly in seasons of business. Aaron has often compared my emotions to that graph/ function thing that goes up and down drastically (I, of course, cannot remember the technical name). The day was full. Full of kids running, my brain running, my legs running. Aaron had told me to leave some things for him to do before everyone came over. The minutes ticked and six o'clock rolled around and there was no sign of his return. So, I hoped off the couch to do those things in record timing that I'd left for him plus the things I was going to do anyways. Slice the bread. Sweep the floors. Vacuum the rugs. Run the dogs around. Cook the sauce. Boil the noodles. Make the bed. Write an email. Then they came. And time slowed and I breathed the fresh aroma of Jesus in the form of community. We sang, we prayed, we read the creation story and let old words sear new life on our hearts. The story we've heard a thousand times. And God said... And it was good....

The emails from the public library were coming into my inbox. Four books total on hold for me. As I checked them out of the library that day, feet sore from a long day, heart heavy, I felt a twinge of guilt thinking that I probably wouldn't read all four books in a month. School had just started. What if there were other people that wanted to turn these pages and here they may be collecting dust on my shelves for a month? I brought them all home anyways. My comfy green couch awaited my presence daily after school. I slid into the corner, curled my feet up on the couch with a pillow in my lap and looked at the stack of books trying to decide which one to start with. My mom recommended each one from her book club, but had raved about  The Language of Flowers  by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. That would be a good place to start. I was more than engrossed after the first page. By the time Aaron had come home from work, I had finished a quarter of the book. In the book, the main char...

I'm not really sure what heaven will be like, but it may look like people of all ages- babies, toddlers, moms, dads, college students, grandmas, and more- gathered around singing praise. It may look more like that worship night we just had that seemed more chaotic than normal simply because there were children. Children. The ones whom Jesus said the kingdom belongs to. Heaven may look like the delight on a grandmother's face as she hold her grandchild close to her heart or the student with their arms lifted high or the mom dancing in the corner or the little boy playing the tambourine off beat. It may look like eyes closed in reverent grace or eyes wide in wild embrace. Of a king who loves to hear his children clap there hands, lift their gaze, and worship unhindered. It's good to worship with children. It's good to laugh at being off beat. It's good to look around at your neighbors while you sing. It's good to not take yourself so seriously sometimes. I...

Welcome to my classroom! I am pretty excited about the way it looks! We themed the outside of our door like The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle. It's so colorful! This is the main part of the classroom.... Thanks Aaron for making that new shelf above the sink! So much more counter space! These are fun chairs I got at Target for $20 each... great sensory chairs for my kids. Teacher area.... never clean really. This is the most organized it may be all year. The arrival/ departure station thingy... The new few pictures are of the sensory room... a small room attached to the main one so my kids can have a sensory break and we also double the space as a changing room. All our changing stuff and feeding stuff is sooooooo organized now... finally! Our daily picture schedules. New month/ date pieces.... love Teacherspayteachers.com My students who are non-verbal communicate with these buttons called Big Macs...